9/13/2020 1 Comment Grandparent's day love letterGabriella SwartwoodMost grandparents are under an amazing spell where they are only able to see the best in their grandchildren. Literally, it makes it almost impossible for them to see anything negative in the personality or behavior of grandchildren.They cherish you and see you for who you are but at the same time, are keenly aware of the generations of other relatives in your appearance, mannerisms, aptitudes, and general personality. Just being around you is pure delight.
Grandparents can give the gift of lack of judgement. Perhaps because they are not raising you, they have a luxury they did not have as parents themselves: they are not directly (most of the time) responsible for how you develop. Instead, they teach you what it is like to be cherished and loved unconditionally. This is an amazing gift and raises the bar for what to expect in future relationships. Now as a parent myself, it is pretty amazing to watch the relationship between my kids and their grandparents. It is rather fascinating to see grandparents' attributes and even likes and dislikes reflected in my children. I hope that all readers can be so lucky now and in the future. Having the support and wisdom of grandparents greatly enhances your life as a mother or father. So cheers to grandparents everywhere, everyday. Special respect to those who also serve as parents to their grandchildren. May we know them well, prioritize loving and attending to them, and may we be lucky enough to be grandparents one day in the future.
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5/20/2020 0 Comments Anxiety BoxLauren CaSeSometimes when I am stressed out or anxious about something - whether it be a project, a deadline, an engagement, or just simply that I don’t feel great about myself - I tend to lash out at my family and those closest to me. You know the story, mom walks into the kitchen and see’s one dirty dish and subsequently, she flips out, turns the house upside down, and puts herself in timeout - but it was never about the dish and it will never be about the dish. Unfortunately, that scene plays out in my home more than I would like to admit. Recently, I have been feeling on edge, more than usual. I know there are tons of contributing factors, and I am certainly not the only person feeling this way, but that doesn’t make how I am feeling any bit easier. In the middle of a mental storm, it is hard to step back and go through my mental health checklist with rationality and grace. But hard does not mean impossible - and if we go back to my last blog about silence, I highlight how crucial it is to take a moment, do the hard work, place our pride aside (at least in my case), and recenter. I will be honest - this morning, I lost it on my family and I started feeling that internal drive to run… run… run… run anywhere, run away, run, just run away. Over the years, I have learned when I start to feel like running away to a coastal town and never coming back, it means I have neglected myself too much. So, when I get that desire to run away, my alarms get triggered and I know I must go through my mental health and safety checklist, put everything down and pick myself back up. I also learned (the hard way), that running away from everything feels great at the moment, but all those things I was running from (ghosts, demons, skeletons, or whatever you call them) will catch up and haunt me wherever I am until I train them, slay them, or banish them for good. For me - my dark and scary demons are a part of who I am - they help me connect, empathize and discover new creative outlets - I don’t want to banish them but I also don’t want them to take over. There is a balance I try to maintain - and when I feel like running, that means I’m no longer balanced and I need to let more light into my soul, reconnect with God, and remember that I am not equipped to handle or control what is outside of my reach. When when I try to control what is outside of my reach, or what I like to call, The Unknown, the gates fling wide open and instead of sunshine and rainbows pouring out, anxiety, worry, fear, and stress flood me until I’m in that fight or flight mode, and flight (my desire to run), takes over. So - how do we fight the unknown? I can tell you how I fight the unknown - and I hope you will give it a try. A few years ago, I was shopping at the Dollar Store for some kid crafts, and I came across an adorable and colorful box with an elephant on the front. It was nothing fancy, but it was sturdy and just the right size to hold post-it notes (which was my original thought). This little box made its way home, along with the other crafts, and as I was placing my stack of post-its into it, I wrote myself a message on the top note. “Be still.” I closed the box and went about my day. A few days later, I opened the box to grab a post-it and I was taken back. I will be honest, I was confused and it took me a few moments to recall that I wrote the message. At that moment, I realized how powerful my message was and decided to change the purpose of the little box from post-it holder to my anxiety holder. I began ripping off post-its and writing... “Jeff’s job situation.” “Lucas’s amniocentesis.” “Financial stability.” ‘Mom’s health.” “Tom and Cindy’s move.” I wrote about 15 different messages and wrote the date on each of them. Then, I folded the paper and placed them into the box. As I did that, I said a small prayer asking God to take these stresses and anxieties off of my mind and heart and handle them for me. Every day as new and different anxieties entered my soul, I wrote them down on a piece of paper, folded it, dated it, and placed it in the box. Almost immediately, I felt lighter and less on edge, and in a few short weeks, writing the unknowns (as I call them) became habit and as routine as brushing my teeth. Here is what happened. This little box served as a tool to filter out things I could control and things I could not control. Once I filtered out all the things I could not control, all the things I could control suddenly became less overwhelming, they became more attainable and it became crystal clear how much my head was filled with things that drained me of joy and serenity. If you are thinking, okay great, but I have this box filled with little papers of all my worries - now what? About 2 months after starting, I opened the box and went through each message. When I did, something magical happened, I came across messages filled with worries and concerns that had resolved without me worrying about it every minute of every day. Sure - I had a part in the resolution, but my part wasn’t discovering the final solution. My part was walking the journey and learning what I could control versus what I couldn’t, and the final solution was a beautiful combination of fate and free-will. So, as I sit here writing this, I am reminded that my dark and scary demons can easily be reigned in by letting go of what I can’t control, being still, and trusting myself to handle what I can control. I would love for you to create your own anxiety box and I hope you will share your own personal discoveries with me! Blessings and peace! 5/13/2020 0 Comments Sound of silenceLauren CaseSpeak only if it improves upon the silence. -Ghandi. A few years ago my husband asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day. I told him an entire day, or weekend alone - in complete and utter silence. My husband looked at me dumbfounded, and instead of a weekend of pure bliss, I parented, cooked, cleaned, hosted family and went hiking - I will be fully transparent here, I was not a happy woman. My husband has since learned that what I cherish most, more than spa treatments, flowers, chocolates, and even ice cream, is silence. Silence is not something I experience often, in fact, most people don’t. Even if you are not a mother or a father, you may have pets, or parents, or work obligations, etc. But, with three children, silence is something I cherish, and when I have an opportunity to steal a few moments, guilt often takes over and ruins the moment. If this sounds like you, I don’t have the secret to put the guilt aside, but I can tell you that searching and discovering true stillness will help make those guilt-free moments even more rewarding. I don’t mean being physically still, though that often comes as a byproduct - but I mean, the stillness of the mind. When I take my morning shower, if I am lucky, I am doing so without children asking me a million questions, but even in those moments my mind is racing with the to-dos of the day. In the quieter moments of the week, which are much harder to come by since COVID - my mind is still always on - like open apps on a phone running and draining the battery in the background. This constant pulling of energy is debilitating - and at the end of my day, I often wonder why I am so mentally exhausted, stressed out, and anxious - even after a day that wasn’t necessarily filled with tending to the constant needs of my children. Then, the guilt creeps in again. “I am not grateful enough...I will miss the sounds of my kids… I should be thankful I have kids and sounds…and the list goes on.” Well, here’s the thing - I am grateful for all of those things, but I am also REALLY tired and even though I wouldn’t trade my life for all the silence in the world, a little bit of silence is something that I need, like water, and food, and sleep, to function at my best. We live in a world that is noisy - we live in a world where being heard is being seen - and we equate sound with production and purpose. I could write for days about the psychology behind silence and why it is so important to our mental health, anxiety, production, purpose, etc. Since there are medical reasons for silence, I know that enough people feel the same way that I do, and that you can more than likely relate to this in some way. Silence and stillness are bucket fillers - meaning they fill our buckets when we are drained and feeling empty. But, even though they are beneficial, many people, myself included, often avoid silence or justify reasons as to why we can’t be truly still. Being still and silent means we are not focusing on the needs of others, or listening to the latest post Malone album, or chatting with our best friend. It means we are focusing on the deepest needs of ourselves - and that level of depth, self-awareness, and reflection is terrifying. So instead of finding silence, we turn on a podcast or a Ted talk and justify our growth and development by how we respond and react to another person’s silent discoveries. Read that again - we pay, seek out, and listen to what other people have to say - ideas that were discovered in another person’s stillness, because we don’t want to be still and silent ourselves. I am a professional writer, and I write in part to inspire others, meaning I hope people read and reflect on my words. But the other part of why I write is because of what I discover in the process, and the deep sense of purpose it brings me. So, let me be clear, I am not saying we shouldn’t seek out inspiring podcasts and works that enhance our personal growth and development because we should, but not without or in place of experiencing our own depths of silence. What we discover in silence is the difference between words being nothing more than noise and words being something worth learning from. Silence speaks volumes and silence can never be misquoted. So - what does silence mean to you? By now you know I love music - here is one of my FAVORITE songs of all time - yes, I like the original by Simon and Garfunkel, but Disturbed's rendition is incredible! Enjoy! 4/29/2020 5 Comments Renewed AwarenessThis week’s blog is a proud plug for our new magazine, Renewed Awareness. We have been working tirelessly to bring to life a variety of content, information, education, support, and inspiration. Our team is so talented and incredible, and I wanted to take a moment to elaborate on the people and heart behind the magazine and why they are so spectacular. First and foremost, Maggie Rose Macar, the CEO of Reborn. Maggie is a pioneer and walks through life with faith over fear. Any conversations we have turn into creative and inspiring discussions, and I always leave a conversation feeling refreshed and energized. It takes a special person to leave you feeling more filled than drained, and Maggie is exceptional at filling others’ souls with positivity, light, and inspiration. Second, our magazine editor and silent secret weapon, Sara Mahmood. Sara is a soft-spoken, brilliant woman who never ceases to amaze me. During our zoom conferences and magazine meetings, she takes on project after project. When we are finished, she will often say, “I don’t know if we will be able to do this, but I will try.” I think she just says that to make the rest of us feel somewhat useful, because when I sign-in to take a peak at the magazine progress, she does it all, literally! Last, but definitely not least. Gabriella Swartwood. When meeting a team of new writers and collaborators, it can sometimes be overwhelming and intimidating. When I met Gabriella, I instantly felt like I had known her for years. Her energy, positivity, and brilliance bring the magazine and our team to an entirely new level. She is intelligent and humble and makes everyone around her feel loved and included. I am beyond lucky to be a part of this team and grateful to God for bringing everything to fruition. Our team is small and mighty, but with so much growth on the horizon, we will continue to be dedicated to bringing you inspiring, educational, and supportive content throughout the year. Be sure to click the links below to explore more of our magazine platforms and to stay in the know of any updates and changes! Thank you for your continued support! April's Magazine Magazine Information Student Survey Parent Survey 4/1/2020 0 Comments Masterpiecelauren caseTwenty years ago, I had no clue who I was or remotely aware of who I could become. As a thirteen-year-old, what I believed became my truth, and my truth and my purpose were not at all the same. I believed I was broken, unlovable, dirty, disgusting, and a mistake. A botched suicide attempt at the end of my 8th-grade year left me believing that I would never escape my doomed destiny of living a broken life. I went into high school and worked hard to preserve what I believed was left of me. I built walls that grew into a fortress. No one was getting in, but that meant nothing was getting out either. Including the demons that were already inside...shame, embarrassment, despair, depression and fear. So I built my walls higher in an effort to prevent anyone from seeing the truth of how awful I was. On the outside a fortress, on the inside a terrified young girl. I was paralyzed with fear that my walls would either crumble in on me leaving me further broken, or they would crumble out, exposing my truth to everyone. I learned how to blow up every bridge leading to my fortress, and in what I thought was my greatest accomplishment to preserve what was left of me, I had unknowingly created the perfect environment for depression and darkness to take control. And so they did. In my darkness, my demons grew stronger and they got louder - I fantasized about death and I believed suicide was my ticket to freedom. I reached a point when I wondered why I was protecting what was left of me. It was at that moment that I decided to end my life for the second time, except this time I would succeed. As I sat on my bedroom floor holding my father’s handgun, I didn’t fear death or pain, I didn’t fear not seeing my family again... I feared how I would be remembered. Instead of pulling the trigger, I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote my obituary. The ink danced on the paper and words poured out, filling pages upon pages of how I wanted to be remembered. After what felt like a lifetime of writing and after the tears on the pages had dried, I decided to put the gun away. How I wanted to be remembered was not how I was living. A few hours later, I told my mother I needed help. I didn’t know it at the time, but writing my obituary was the sledgehammer that created the tiniest crack in my fortress, a crack that began to let the light in. What followed was fifteen years of self-discovery. There were enormous amounts of healing and breaking, growing and stumbling, and finding my way only to wind up lost and back at the beginning. Despite how many times I stumbled, I clung to that sliver of light. It was my beacon of hope then, and it is my beacon of hope today. When I read my obituary today, I am filled with pride and purpose. I will always feel sadness for all of the quiet suffering my inner child endured, but it was also her who had the courage to fight. My favorite quote of all time is - “You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work of progress, simultaneously.” - Sophia Bush Looking back all those years, that sliver of light revealed what took me years to understand...I was a work in progress, and also a masterpiece all on my own. Discovering that I held the tools and the canvas to create my masterpieces is what set me free. If you have never seen Sandart, do yourself a favor and watch the one at the end of this blog. They are fascinating for a number of reasons, but my personal deep-rooted appreciation comes at the moment I think the art is complete. I sit in awe and try to process how another human being can create something so incredible, and before I can fully comprehend the beauty, she brushes away her masterpiece and another work of art begins, sometimes a little bit of the previous sand is left, sometimes it’s a blank canvas. Watching the transformation of a work of art be turned into a masterpiece, only to then watch it turn back into a work of art is like watching fear dissolve right before your eyes. In the absence of fear, love and light know no limits. When love and light have no limits, neither does growth. Building a fortress around ourselves guarantees one thing, that we cannot grow. In the darkness, we forget how to live, we forget how to love, our soul becomes weary, and our bones grow brittle and weak. When we let our walls crumble, the progress of creating our masterpiece begins. The progress of discovering your gifts begins. When we believe that we have reached a point where we can’t grow, we begin to crumble. When we work towards our next masterpiece, we inspire others who are also a work in progress. When we spread our light and our progress, we spread grace, forgiveness, love and gratitude. We spread hope. We are designed, destined even, to create hundreds and thousands of masterpieces in our lifetimes. You are a masterpiece today, just as you are, and if you keep making progress, we all get to see the next masterpiece to come. What will your masterpieces say about you? |