6/17/2020 0 Comments Rechargelauren caseLast Saturday morning, at precisely 5:22 am, I sat in my kitchen ordering groceries. It was a peaceful moment, the windows were open, the birds were singing and the sunlight was just starting to peek in my windows. At precisely 5:34 am, I heard the bells from the cat’s collars jingle, followed by very fast footsteps that sounded an awful lot like the footsteps of a three-year-old boy chasing a cat.
Well, that was short-lived! I had a few minutes before my middle son, Liam, would either come searching for me or do something that would require me to go searching for him. But still, it had already been a much better morning than most. The typical morning usually includes Liam waking up between 2 and 4 o’clock, checking to make sure the sky is not falling and then wandering in and snuggling as close to me as possible. Then sometime around 5:30 am, it is all systems go. My children operate at one level, and most of the time my mornings are unpleasant and a bit rocky. But today, I decided to get ahead of the chaos. I thought about going for a morning walk, but the nagging need to order groceries won that internal battle. While the computer was booting and I was heating some tea, I glanced at my journal on the counter. I made a mental note to take a few minutes and write as soon as I was done ordering groceries. Liam, however, had other plans. As soon as I clicked submit order, I heard those jingles, and a few short minutes later, I heard a sweet and tired voice say, “good morning mommy, I’m awake.” I looked at my three-year-old son, and although I am flooded with love and joy to see him, I am also left feeling bitter about the short time I had to myself. Despite everything, I am relieved he seems to have woken up on the right side of the bed, and I am thankful that I got to complete one item off my list. After I put on some morning cartoons, I started to think about all the things I am not doing, and then before I knew it, I was in the middle of my very own personal pity party. Within minutes, my mind shifted from contentment to bitterness. I felt drained, but I heard my heart telling me to write and I knew I had at least one episode of Paw Patrol before I would get breakfast started. I opened my journal and began to write the following; I need to recharge, so before I can write anything remotely productive, inspiring or relevant to anything, I need to grant myself permission to take a break from my daily list and focus on recharging my battery. Great, but how? What are things I enjoy to do that also don’t feel like work? Writing calligraphy, singing, running, cooking, reading. That’s it. I give myself permission to do any or all of those things today when time allows, but also to take 15 minutes to myself to do some deep meditation and I will not feel guilty about not writing any assignments, I will not feel guilty for not folding laundry or scrubbing bathrooms, today, I recharge. And, I did. Throughout the day I made time to go for a run, spent a few minutes doodling while my kids painted rocks, played some music we all sang along to, baked up a quick and simple treat and between naps and bath time, I read for a few short minutes. When I stop to really think about it - my day was just as busy and consuming as any other day, but the difference was that I gave myself permission to do things that bring me joy before doing things that look a bit more like household chores and responsibilities.. And then a light bulb flickered. The difference between feeling joy or feeling guilt is permission. It is just that simple, yet so incredibly challenging to do. Somewhere along the way, whether it is how I was raised, or societal influences, or maybe just the way I am wired, I began to feel guilty for feeling joy. I am not sure if this makes sense or resonates with you, but when I acknowledge something that makes me happy or if I feel joyous for a blessing that comes into my life, I feel guilt that I am feeling something or experiencing something that someone else is not. So, I felt so much joy last Saturday, that the following day I actually felt guilty. So what did I do? I took my feelings and I made them small, but in the process, I made myself small. Because if I am small, then those big feelings can’t fit inside of me. And then before I knew it, I was feeling shame and guilt, and I spent the day scrubbing floors, folding laundry, and being bitter and angry. That cycle is a disaster. Thankfully, I have spent nearly a year deconstructing my brain with a therapy called EMDR and I have grown skilled at stopping those disasters from stealing hours, days, and (at one point) weeks from my life. After I steamed the floors and screamed at everyone in my family, I sat with my feelings, retraced my thoughts, and read the words in my journal that started this cascade of events. I need to recharge, so before I can write anything remotely productive, inspiring or relevant to anything, I need to grant myself permission to take a break from my daily list and focus on recharging my battery. Great, but how? What are things I enjoy to do that also don’t feel like work? Writing calligraphy, singing, running, cooking, reading. That’s it. I give myself permission to do any or all of those things today when time allows, but also to take 15 minutes to myself to do some deep meditation and I will not feel guilty about not writing any assignments, I will not feel guilty for not folding laundry or scrubbing bathrooms, today, I recharge. Ah, there it is. I need to recharge. I need permission. Once I re-read my words, I gave myself permission to shed the guilt and shame and when I came back downstairs, I wasn’t angry at the laundry or the dishes, and I didn’t spend the day scrubbing bathrooms as my punishment for experiencing joy. I gave myself permission to be balanced. I told myself, “I don’t need to use up my entire battery before I take a break! I am worthy enough to pause, recharge, and then keep going.” If you are like me, I am telling you, GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION to pause and recharge - don’t wait until you’ve got nothing left, pause, be still, and recharge as often and as joyfully as you need.
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5/6/2020 0 Comments #reyogaLauren CaseReady for a massive truth bomb? I dislike yoga, A LOT! I love to exercise and I thrive on pushing myself if I am weight training or running, but when it comes to yoga - I will find every excuse as to why I can’t do it. I have found myself making comments like, “yoga isn’t challenging enough” or “yoga doesn’t get my heart rate up enough”. But the truth bomb isn't that I dislike yoga, it's that I dislike being uncomfortable. When I am running or lifting weights, my mind drifts off and I transform into a badass mythical creature throwing weights around. I am only able to see the things I am capable of, the rush behind what I can do - it’s empowering and I like being empowered. But, when I do yoga - my mind doesn’t go anywhere, I am trapped focusing on all the things I can’t do. It’s just me, my very loud mind, and my completely stiff and unbending body. I can’t touch my toes, I can’t bend sideways, I can’t clasp my hands over my head, I can’t balance, I can’t breathe, and I can’t believe how much I suck at yoga. When the yoga teacher says, “don’t focus on anyone but yourself, this is your practice…”, I immediately focus on everyone else in the room. In my mind, everyone else is a master yogi, focused, centered, beautiful, glowing... and then there is me, sweating more than I should, panting, grunting and feeling pain in literally every bone and muscle in my body. Yep. I feel so NOT empowered after a yoga session. What does that say about Yoga… or me? Well, for one, it means I need to do more Yoga - and two, the practice of yoga isn’t the problem, I am. But you know what’s amazing about problems? They have solutions, and sometimes, more than one. It took me a long time to learn that when something makes me uncomfortable it means I am being pushed to the edge of my comfort zone. Like most people, meeting that resistance makes me want to turn back and find my safe space, and I have even justified my stopping or avoiding yoga by telling myself things like, “I did the best I could”, or “I will try again tomorrow.” Minds are powerful, and when I lie to myself about what a great effort I put into a yoga class, it doesn’t make me feel any better. Here’s the thing - I know I am lying to myself because I am never disappointed after yoga, just angry. How can I feel disappointment when I had no expectations of putting forth any real effort to begin with? Ten or so years ago, I tried out for American Idol and I made it through the first few rounds. I did everything correct leading up to my audition, and I continued to make my vocal health a top priority throughout the competition rounds. When I was finally let go from advancing any further, I was devastated and truly saddened. Most importantly, I was disappointed. I did not fulfill my hopes or expectations despite giving it my very best effort. We cannot experience disappointment without defining our hopes and expectations, but we can fail by not even trying. Did I fail to advance further in American Idol? Absolutely - but not once did I ever see myself as a failure or take it as a sign that I should give up. But - after every single yoga session, I feel like the world’s biggest failure. What is the difference? How can two unsuccessful and failed situations yield two entirely different feelings and results? The difference is where we are in our comfort zones. We cannot find success without experiencing disappointment, we cannot experience disappointment unless we try, and when we try, we cannot fail. The difference is that in one scenario I tried - and in the other… I failed to try. Deborah Maggoch said it best; “The only real failure is the failure to try, and the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment.” So, in honor of stepping outside of our comfort zone and the all new #REyoga feature in our magazine, I am going to commit to RENEWING my body, RENEWING my mind, and RENEWING my spirit with YOGA. I chose this youtube channel, and I am committing myself to trying it for the full 30 days (from May 6 to June 5). For me, this challenge is about honoring the importance of what it means to try and earning the right to be disappointed in my trials. If my words resonated with you, join me on this #REyoga challenge as I push the limits of my comfort zone and turn this trial into a triumph! Share your journey with me at [email protected] or drop a comment below! Stay tuned for a special #REyoga feature post - I will be introducing you to an amazing local yogi and sharing her mind, body, and soul wisdom! You can catch a glimpse of her in action in this months magazine! Sign up to receive the magazine below! 4/29/2020 5 Comments Renewed AwarenessThis week’s blog is a proud plug for our new magazine, Renewed Awareness. We have been working tirelessly to bring to life a variety of content, information, education, support, and inspiration. Our team is so talented and incredible, and I wanted to take a moment to elaborate on the people and heart behind the magazine and why they are so spectacular. First and foremost, Maggie Rose Macar, the CEO of Reborn. Maggie is a pioneer and walks through life with faith over fear. Any conversations we have turn into creative and inspiring discussions, and I always leave a conversation feeling refreshed and energized. It takes a special person to leave you feeling more filled than drained, and Maggie is exceptional at filling others’ souls with positivity, light, and inspiration. Second, our magazine editor and silent secret weapon, Sara Mahmood. Sara is a soft-spoken, brilliant woman who never ceases to amaze me. During our zoom conferences and magazine meetings, she takes on project after project. When we are finished, she will often say, “I don’t know if we will be able to do this, but I will try.” I think she just says that to make the rest of us feel somewhat useful, because when I sign-in to take a peak at the magazine progress, she does it all, literally! Last, but definitely not least. Gabriella Swartwood. When meeting a team of new writers and collaborators, it can sometimes be overwhelming and intimidating. When I met Gabriella, I instantly felt like I had known her for years. Her energy, positivity, and brilliance bring the magazine and our team to an entirely new level. She is intelligent and humble and makes everyone around her feel loved and included. I am beyond lucky to be a part of this team and grateful to God for bringing everything to fruition. Our team is small and mighty, but with so much growth on the horizon, we will continue to be dedicated to bringing you inspiring, educational, and supportive content throughout the year. Be sure to click the links below to explore more of our magazine platforms and to stay in the know of any updates and changes! Thank you for your continued support! April's Magazine Magazine Information Student Survey Parent Survey 4/15/2020 0 Comments Be happy when..lauren caseUntil recently, I suffered from the Be Happy When syndrome. You know what I am talking about. I’ll be happy when I lose ten pounds. I’ll be happy when my house is clean. I’ll be happy when I am out of debt. I’ll be happy when [insert over a million reasons why you simply cannot be happy now]. This mindset is debilitating, and living with this attitude does not yield happiness. April is halfway through, and if you are anything like I once was, then you are already saying something like, “ugh, whatever, I will start my diet May 1” or “even though I am miserable at my job, this Covid crisis is really giving me an excuse not to leave my job just yet, I will re-evaluate next month”. If this resonates with you, then you too have probably scoured the internet searching for ways to kick the habit of believing you’ll be happy when you achieve whatever you’ve convinced yourself will yield lifelong happiness. You have probably read things like, be grateful, slow down, become aware. All great suggestions but not very helpful if you don’t know how to do any of those things. Even though I found a way to combat this nasty syndrome, sometimes I still get caught in the wicked trap. For many years I said, “when I am a paid writer, I will be fulfilled.” I have been writing for 15 years because of the immense joy and peace it brings me, but it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I was paid to write an article for a company. That day came and went, and I felt no more fulfilled than I did the day before. In fact, it took a close friend of mine to ask me how I celebrated the achievement. I was stunned, I was so focused on what new tasks I set before me that I completely forgot the false promise I told myself. “I’ll be happier when I am a paid writer…. I’ll be more respected, I’ll be more important, I’ll be fulfilled.” I was none of those things, and I spent about a week letting that wicked trap drain me of my resources and tools. So, how do we avoid that trap and how do we break loose if we fall into it? Desmond Tutu once wisely said that “there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” This saying is my secret weapon to combat my “be happy when” syndrome, and here is how I do it. When I find myself feeling all doom and gloom, I ask myself what will make me happy, and since I am a writer, I often write it down. For example, my initial thought might sound like this; “My youngest child is a year old, it is about time I lose this extra weight. I will be happy when I lose all of it and stop being a lazy piece of crap.” Then I rephrase my thoughts. “My youngest child is a year old, and I am now feeling like making my health and wellness more of a priority. Here is how I can do that because I think it will make me feel better.” Once I have done my best to rephrase my thoughts, I begin to make a list of 10 things I can do in the next 12 hours to achieve my goal. One of two things happens, I successfully make my list or I am hit with a reality check. I am usually hit with a reality check and realize that what I want to achieve or obtain (i.e weight loss), cannot be completed within 12 hours. This simple exercise helps me see clearly that what I think will bring me happiness is going to require time, patience, and perseverance. I cannot realistically achieve what I want in 12 hours, but I can create a list of things that will help me reach my goal over time. This tool helps us to develop awareness, and since happiness is often something we want instantly, it helps to prioritize what is important in the moment as well as the long-term. If your situation sounds like, “I’ll be happy when my house is clean”, and your list consists of areas of your home that you can clean or have cleaned in the next 12 hours, then 100% do it. However, it is important to break down your list into what you can achieve in 12 hours. Your list may look like this;
It seems reasonable and it may be an attainable goal to accomplish in 12 hours if you have nothing else to do. But if you are also working, taking care of children, going to school, or responsible for feeding a family, then your list is missing a few key items and may look more like this;
This looks a bit different and it helps to put things into perspective. Doing this may help you realize what will really make you happy is feeling less stressed or more ‘accomplished’. Once I give myself a dose of reality - I write my Happy Now List. This is my list of ten things that will make me happy right now. My list usually looks something like this;
If you notice - none of those items include cleaning my house, losing weight, or solving global pandemics. When making lists, it is important to be intentional, honest and realistic - this helps keep expectations low and the chance of success high. I would love to hear from you and how you are combating your own Be Happy When syndrome, email me at [email protected] today! |